looking at what i've drawn . you probably know what's wrong with me .
anyway , wow blogger has some new different typing kind of thing lol .
anyway , hi guys .
welcome back to the emotional world of mine .
yesterday , i was supposed to meet hans in the wee hours of the day ,
just to get to the school early enough to get onto the bus ,
to lead us to the exchange with bedok green sec. concert band .
i heard from my juniors that they saw deyi and guangyang sec too .
lol mrs chee .
ANYWAY , LOL I WAS LATE . LIKE BY 4 hours :/ , when i woke up .
so sorry .
i couldn't make it on time .
actually it's my loss .
i lost the time to stare just a while more at her .
gosh i'm a pervert .
anyway i wanted to see how did the band fare .
surprisingly , i'm not that worried yet .
:) , they should fare well .
i'm like some observer ,
not anymore involved in the band .
feel so , not really sad but left out . hahahaha no choice .
then i met them when they were back in school .
i wonder if they were surprised to see me there :) ,
anyway , then i went to eat out with hans and jia ni ,
^^ Riverside Indonesian bbq , at kopitiam is damnn nice .
i tried the sotong one .
i love sotong , octopus and stuff ,
they have the rubbery feel and taste ^^ .
then we went off to sing songs at the bottom of kevin's block .
:) , then i went off to mug at the library . how interesting
i'm tired .
i'm sick and tired .
oh yeah , then today .
was slightly late for the appointment with eemin .
if you guys just didn't know who eemin is ,
she's my orientation group mate in acjc .
:)
however , unfortunately , she was later than me :)
so i waited in the library , till she finally reached .
yay .
went to drink some watermelon juice at feast .
anyway , it's nice .
better than the school's one .
went off to the library .
today , jurong point's library was so crowded .
flooded with teens and adults , gosh .
we couldn't really find any seats , chairs or tables ,
so we just sat near the staircase .
then soon , nizam came .
:/ , then we started mugging .
anyway we kept talking and using the computer ,
so it wasn't really that productive .
then we went to eat burger king ^^ .
oh yeah , the bk chick&crisp burger was awesome .
but the patty was just too small .
then , we went to harris and popular to get their diaries .
P.S: they got the exact same diary lol .
:) first time there , harris is quite a nice place .
then nizam went back home , while eemin and I went back to the library .
slacked there , did a little bit of economics .
then went back home :D .
life's getting so interesting .
homework homework homework .
mug mug mug
library library library
notes notes notes
graphic calc. graphic calc. graphic calc.
graphs graphs graphs
girls girls girls
food food food
chapel chapel chapel
:D
this is a test of whether do you sense the sacarsm in it , or not .
besides this ,
i think i got into guitar ensemble .
i got into syf .
then i didn't get in .
i don't know why but
whatever
it's not that important anyway , since i'm not a professional .
while many people prefer their diaries .
i prefer my blog .
it's a long tradition to blog .
i love blogging .
it shows my introverted side .
usually
i'm lagging behind in economics ,
i'm losing my brain juice in math ,
i'm confused in physics .
: / , is it really that screwed up for my first term in jc life .
no doubt my classmates are smart .
i'm sorry , they are damn smart and hardworking .
i feel inferior at times .
:) , it's not the background that matters though .
it's getting very negative nowadays .
i can't seem to find the joy being in class .
with all the ,
hey , that's o level e maths leh .
you don't understand ? *are you a retard* look
*ASKS QUESTION* - classmates turn back * are you a retard* look
ah , i anyhow do my geog paper also can get A1 !
HOLY .
COW .
i'm not used to this .
i'm also not used to having
frangers .
friends-strangers
i'll explain .
for a period of time , i'll be your friend .
and after that period of time , i'll slowly drift away from you ,
then we'll be strangers .
: / , it's okay .
it's my first time .
I'm like some innocent nerd in class .
i don't know .
og and class feels so different .
i still can vaguely recall a few days ago ,
when we went to watch 127 hours , at orchard .
and i was laughing at the amputation part like some pervert gosh ,
i thought i was scared of it .
anyway
people keep telling me ,
life will get better .
yeah , why will it get better .
cause you've already adapted to this shit .
sometimes i wish i could remain as innocent , as carefree as i was before .
it was just studying , mugging . if you wanted to ,
improving , improving and improving .
despite all the scoldings , being late and whatever ,
i still , had best friends .
i didn't lose them .
i didn't
i wouldn't
its odd ,
real weird .
for me to adapt
to become heartless .
you treat your friends as temporary objects ,
using them whenever required .
is this the realistic world ?
the real world ?
as you grow up ,
you start to see this world .
this .
realistic ,
world .
:,) ,
if i was younger .
anyway , i have to face it someday .
so why not .
maybe ,
we were born-ed to become heartless creatures .
i don't want to lose my heart .
i don't want to lose my friends .
i don't want to make some , lose some .
i know i'm stubborn .
but , i know what i'm doing .
i'm going against the flow .
i don't talk about soccer , basketball , tennis whatever
i don't talk about D.O.T.A , maplestory or whatever
i don't talk about homework , tutorials , lectures , gossip about people or whatever
i'm not a nerd .
i don't have my center-parting hair anymore .
i lack the nerdiness in me .
if , you think that because you're smart
you look down on me .
its okay .
because , i know , what you're doing is wrong .
i'm a victim .
i'm a bloody victim here .
:) , i believe in karma .
you'll get your retribution .
:)
i'm sounding a little sick here , sorry .
i didn't know .
if i can't find a single soul in my class to be my friend ,
i'm going to go the lonely road .
i'm going to walk down , this boulevard , quietly
thinking about it ,
I may be lonely in class ,
but i have other nice friends elsewhere .
elsewhere .
:) , maybe it wouldn't be that bad .
maybe it would be nice to shut up for the whole day .
it's pointless trying to be nice anymore .
it's really , pointless .
i tried very hard .
MORNING PEOPLE MORNING GOOD MORNING ,
epic fail .
:D ,
showing-off , looking down
i don't mind , i'm still trying to be nice .
but this goes on every single day .
what the **** .
:) ,
if i would have known , i wonder whether will i be in the same situation
i'm going to compete .
o levels was shit .
maths is shit-er
a levels is kanasai .
lol
its a different realm ,
when i was in my "neighbourhood" realm
and the "clever , high-class" realm .
it just feels so different .
no wonder why yanglaoshi says diff feel teaching jvs and hwachong
i'll prefer to stay in my neighbourhood realm
mug mug mug .
life is always so exciting , full of perks
i saw ling hao and cheryl in the library today , ^^
so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
gosh am i getting jealous .
anyway , they seem quite compatible .
lol , i've got nothing much to say .
i just hope that
people reply my messages .
people treat me nicer .
stop looking down on me , everyone's a raw 8 pointer dude .
i don't really ask for anything much
i don't ask for any friends in my class .
i don't ask for anything more than that .
i can't
i know it won't work out this way ,
but anyway just accept the fact .
things just doesn't work the way you want it to be .
i'm seventeen .
sort of
and
my mom keeps nagging about , ah ya chan le , later no girlfriend .
oh
my
goodness
anyway , i'll be glad if i would survive through this ordeal .
it's not torturous .
it's just me .
its hard for me to be lonely .
sitting down at that corner
talking to myself , crying .
talking about homework , tutorials , lectures .
so
plan
is
wednesday
stares blankly at whiteboard
don't say hi
don't say morning
don't say anything
just
pure
silence
i doubt i can do that .
who knows whether i'm gonna enjoy that .
my presence or absence probably wouldn't' make a difference .
no one's going to notice that .
i sound as if I'm complaining about my life .
i'm not .
I'm just trying to give my personal views about what's happening now .
if you think that i'm just some weak loser , then i have no choice
but to ignore that .
i'm not complaining , please don't misunderstand me
i won't give up .
days , may just get better .
i , although super unlucky .
got caught for hair even when its short ,
and somemore is due to chinese rep. duties .
and whatever
i won't be that unlucky ,
all the time through this two years i hope .
I'm so ,
heartbroken .
ok i'm speechless .
lets talk about life another day .
i have to meet hans early in the morning tml , to go to school to teach music once again ^^ .
anyway , good night peeps , its not early .
bye .
signing off ,
Gaoxian
Labels: MUG